52 Comments on A note from Vasi’s Husband

  1. Vatsla will be deeply missed, and in our hearts forever. We are saddened by her sudden departure. Our continued prayers will be with her family and friends. Rest well beautiful! We will continue to learn from your gifts that you gave to the world. Thank you for leaving your footprint on this earth, and in our hearts! ❤️🙏🏽

  2. My deepest condelences to you and your family at this time. I was such a pleasure to have known Vatsla through social media. I’m so happy to have had conversations with her outside of that as she assisted me with some sewing tips and she was my fitbit buddy for a moment. I truly miss her. Blessings to you and your beautiful children.

  3. Vatsla will be deeply missed in our sewing community. She was and is such a ray of light and inspiration. My prayers and blessings to you Curtis and the children as you go through through this most challenging season. We know that we’ll all see Vatsla again in Heaven.

  4. Vatsla will be deeply, deeply missed! I have been following her for years now and looked up to her so much. She even helped me with sewing tips and any questions that I had she was quick to answer. Our community will forever miss her!

    Rest in love, Vatsla!

  5. My sincere condolences to you, the children and her family. I so loved her creativity and passion for her sewing. I will miss her. May God bless you and keep you close especially at this time.

  6. Dear Curtis, I am so very sad and sorry to read your message I loved to read Vatsla’s blog and see the garments she had made. I thought she was an extraordinary beautiful lady who had such an understanding of fabrics and patterns. I can’t begin to imagine your feelings at this sad time, but please be assured you will be in the thoughts and prayers of many of us in the community. My love and best wishes go to you and your children, along with your other family members. x

  7. There are no words that will comfort you, only know that he beauty inside and out and her willingness to share what she knew about fashion, sewing, etc brought her many adoring fans.

  8. Dear Curtis, Until I read your post, I was clueless. I loved reading Vatsla’s blog and admired her fashion sense. She helped me immensely with her tips and tutorials. I am saddened by this news and will miss her very much. God bless you and your children and God keep Vatsla close to Him. You are all in my prayers.

  9. Curtis I am shocked and saddened to read your email. I did wonder about the lack of updates, but I had no idea. Your wife was so loved by the whole sewing community. May you all find peace. Heather Angel

  10. Bless you, Curtis. I loved reading Vatsla’s posts. It made me feel like I knew her. I miss her so. I wish you and your children all the best.

  11. My deepest condolences and prayers go with you..I only knew her through this blog but was constantly in awe of and delighted by her talent and beauty. May she rest in peace and God comfort you all.

  12. My heart and prayers to all who have had their life touched by this incredible woman. I would like to give those who loved her the most, her family and her husband, the one who will feel this loss the most. Suicide is a disease, just like cancer. It is insidious, hard to treat, and mostly incurable. I suffer from this disabilitating and hard to understand disease. It is not something that someone wants, it is what they believe is the solution to their personal demons. Many of us, who have thought of suicide as a solution, do not think of it as a solution for us, but to alleviate the pain we are causing those people we love the most. I believe that I am a burden, and Dream about dying without hurting my family. They have assured me I am not a burden, that they would be devastated no matter how I die, and what keeps me breathing each day, is a promise I made to my youngest son, to call him first. Not to live, just call him first. This has helped. This son also suffers from chronic depression like his mom, and I worry if I suicide, I am just giving him a how to, another motivator. Those who think they know someone who suffers with suicide ideation, who thinks daily, hourly, of just not being here, you can make a difference. LISTEN, not talk. Give your love one a shoulder to cry on, without telling them how wrong they are to feel this way. A person’s feelings are theirs, another cannot feel them. What you can do is be understanding as to how they may perceive life as hurtful, then give them examples why not, a child’s laugh, a butterfly, just the beauty that surrounds us, and do not make them feel guilty for their feelings, they already do. Show them a way from the edge of the abyss, give them a lifeline of a person who listens, who knows they don’t have the answers, but cares enough to listen and love. Just because this beautiful woman lost to the disease, does not mean anyone did anything wrong. I possess this knowledge because i have been fighting this disease in me 50 years. I have both emotional and physical scars of almost losing to it, but i can tell you this, we don’t suicide to cause pain, we suicide to escape pain of our reality.
    May God bless you all and most of all Vatsla. Be at peace because she is out of pain.

    • Thank you Melody for this very honest and heartfelt response. It is hard sometimes for someone who had never had depression/suicidal thoughts or lived with a loved one who has to understand how they could ever make such a fateful decision. Vasi shared many of the feelings you wrote about, especially the part of believe she was a burden on all of those around her (no matter how much we would tell her she was not). As I’ve told some people, I truly believe Vasi did not feel this was something she was doing TO her family, she believed she was doing it FOR her family. Again, if you’ve never dealt with someone in this situation I know that is incredibly difficult to understand and accept. I’m glad to hear you have something that keeps you fighting each and every day and I hope you know how important that is. I cannot begin to describe the absolute devastation her decision has brought upon us as a family and I hope others who are having the same thoughts she has really take the time to consider not just the short term but long term impacts this will have on those around them (especially for us with our sweet babies). And I get it, I understand there is unbearable suffering for those afflicted and being in a constant state of anxiety is torturous…but I also believe if she had just held on a little longer we could have fought through this like we had always done before. This will probably be the one question I’ll struggle with the most for the rest of my life – what made this time so much different than the times where we fought through the depression before? Anyway, thank you for opening up and I hope we as a society can have more open and honest conversations about this topic more and more.

  13. Oh, Curtis, I am stunned. I have read Vasi’s blog for quite a while and greatly admired her. She was extremely talented, a good writer, sharing of her talents, full of love for her family, and could stand on those high heals (smile) . She was beautiful inside and out. I loved the outfits she made for your daughter, together they were so cute. My brother, and best friend, died of suicide in 1984, at the age of 34, and I still miss him. His struggles were quite visible, yet we did not know. I always knew that he made that choice, and yet felt a certain consternation that he did not call me/anyone for help. Perhaps he was just tired. I know you have so many questions that may never be answered. Love her memory, love on your children, they must be so confused, love her mother and love yourself because it is not your fault. Even though I am much older (74) I knew that we would have been friends should we have met. Her blog was one of the few I looked forward to, and I liked her very much.

    • Thank you so much for those kind words. You described Vasi perfectly, both in her good moments and her struggles. I’ve heard people wonder things like “how did you not know she was going to do that”…and unless they’ve been in that situation, I think it is hard for them to understand. It’s not as if the person comes out and tells you “hey I’m going to go do this”…at least in situations where they have firmly made that decision and have a plan on how. I struggle with many of the same feelings you had/have. And I’ve come to accept that we’ll never really fully understand it all. Thank you again for sharing and for understanding.

  14. I am deeply saddened by this news. She’s beautiful inside and out and such an inspiration for us young sewing mothers. I will miss her and your family will be in my prayers.

  15. I am so very sorry for your family’s loss and please know that Vatsla was very much loved in our sewing community…we share in your loss of this very beautiful, talented and extremely knowledgeable woman. I pray for your family’s strength to get through this very difficult time.

  16. You and your children have been in my thoughts & prayers ever since I read the Fabric Mart post that Vasi went missing. As so many others, I followed her blog. She was so creative and always very sharing in her talent with her readers. After the Fabric Mart post I Googled to see if there were any updates & was so saddened to learn about her tragic passing. I’m glad that you are able to take comfort in the knowledge that she is at peace. Wishing peace and comfort for you, your children and the rest of vasi’s family. God Bless.

  17. I loved Vatsla’s blog. Although I have been sewing for many years, Vatsla’s blog taught me many new sewing skills, and was always an inspiration to me. My prayers are with you and your young family.

  18. My heart goes out to you and your family during this time. I have followed Vatsla’s blog for years, and all of her online presence will be missed. I could see the love she had for her family, and always looked forward to her blog posts. May the beauty of her life always be remembered through the ways you are working to keep her memories alive. Bless you!

  19. Thank you Curtis for taking time to share with us during a difficult time. No doubt Vatsla’s sewing community adored her, worried about her, and we’re shattered to know she’s no longer with us. Praying for your strength and healing.

    I’m happy to share with you and the community that I recently donated a new Brother (her fav) sewing machine to the Girls & Boys Club in Vatsla’s memory. It’s my promise to promote her dream to provide an opportunity for all children to learn to sew. Vatsla was so generous with her time and talent on this blog, and I think this would make her very happy!

    As important as sewing was to our friend, I also think Vatsla would endorse our making her suicide a teaching moment. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Because one in 5 people will be affected by mental illness in their lifetime, take time to show you care about mental health. More important, depression and/or postpartum depression does not discriminate. It can happen to anyone at any time.

    tel:1-800-273-8255
    https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

    May the miracle of Easter bring you renewed hope, faith, love and joy.

    • Hi Fiona, that is awesome news about the donation of a machine in her memory..she most surely LOVES that. Teaching as you know was her passion (she was such a good teacher)…so if others can learn how to sew I know that makes her spirit happy. And I definitely hope we can have some teaching moments from this tragedy…I’ve been speaking with some other of her sewing friends about finding a way to hopefully use her story as a beacon of hope for others. I’ll post more when that starts to come together. Thank you again for sharing and for that thoughtful donation in her memory.

  20. I was hesitant to comment because I am a complete stranger however, living in Charlotte area I followed and shared her disappearance daily.
    My own father took his own life when i was 4. Growing up my mother refused to really talk about him much and the only memories I have I am not quite certain are actual memories or stories my grandmother told me.
    Now at 40, I have suffered depression and anxiety such as he had so my understanding of it is now there. As a child I do remember thinking ” why didnt he want to be with us?”

    Please know I dont say this to add more pain but as time goes on please answer all of their questions as honestly as you can because that is the only way they will truly comprehend that this was soley due to her illness and not them. I never voiced outloud my thoughts and self blame as a child. People criticize and say suicide is a selfish thing but unless you live it, its impossible to comprehend the pain and anxiety with depression. * also, I dont know if relevant to your wife, but it took several medications to find the right one for me and 2 made me have very scary thoughts . I just ” acted ” without thinking of what I was even doing.( thankfully not as drastic ). It’s hard to explain but its very possible she did the same.

    Your family are in my thoughts.

    • Thank you Sabrina for sharing. I think you are right about being open and honest with the kids when they ask questions. This is something I’ve done to the best of my ability so far (within reason at this age of course…being honest but not sharing details). I also make sure to try and acknowledge how they are feeling about it and let them know it is okay to feel that way. But also to know that I am there for them, always. Our son is too young to know/understand although he will surely have questions as he grows. It has been the hardest on our daughter as she is only 5. But I try to let her know we are not going to forget mommy and we can talk about her. It is comforting to know this is something you advocate to do as honestly one of my biggest worries is the long term impact on the kids. Thanks again for sharing.

      FWIW, Vasi was on her second type of meds and was about 4 weeks into it, so we hadn’t quite reached that “6 week mark” to see if it was going to work. The first meds didn’t do anything. I think to some extent not having seen more progress through both meds for that amount of time became discouraging.

  21. I was so saddened to hear of Vatsla’s death. I very much enjoyed reading her blog and looked forward to her informative posts and beautiful outfits. My sympathies to you and her entire family.

  22. Hi Curtis, thank you for writing this. I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that she is no longer with us, and it still has not fully hit me. I still find myself messaging her whenever I see Bluprint has a good deal on something or Joanne’s has a sale, then I realize that she’s not there anymore, and it breaks my heart all over again.
    I must share with you that I left my house to go to the memorial, but I just could not bring myself to make it there, and for that I am sorry.
    I am deeply sorry for your loss, she was a wonderful person, but I take solace know that you will see her again one day in heaven.

  23. I’m so sorry for your loss. Many prayers always for you and the children and family. The Fashion/Sewing community will forever remember her as an inspiration to us all. Atlanta will surely miss her deeply.

  24. My deepest condoleances. I have been reading her blog for several months, and she looked like the sweetest person and the most gifted seamstress and model . God bless you and your children. Praying for you from Spain

  25. Oh my goodness,, I had no idea,,( I don’t get on my blog to look at other blog updates that much,, so I see some updates through Instagram,, but hadn’t noticed her on there either…)

    I am in absolute shock,, as I am sure you must be,, I found a kindred spirit in Vatsla in a way,, I love her confidence in sewing,, and knowing what she wanted to make and how to do it,,

    I didn’t know she had depression,, since you say she had been struggling with it for some time,, I am guessing maybe it was worse after the birth of your son.. I understand hormones can also play a role in it…

    My daughter has had problems with that for the last 3 yrs, fortunately we were able to find her the right meds to help… I am so sorry that it didn’t work for Vatsla… she was a beautiful lady,, she left behind a wonderful family,, my condolences..

  26. I am so saddened by this news. May you and your children feel her love in your hearts for ever more. Now is a time for grieving. Someday the cloud will lift and you will see joy in your children eyes again.

  27. I just found out and I am so sad – what a sweet and caring lovely soul she was – we were IG friends and shared a love of sewing and breakfast – I pray healing is well on the way – As a life long Depression , Anxiety and Panic sufferer , trying to quiet the internal stuff no matter how the outside looks can be overwhelming- I want to help others especially after this – I am 52 and this has been a life long problem – know in your heart she did the best she could – She is free and lives in in your beautiful children – Your tributes sound beautiful – God bless you

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